Friday, October 30, 2015

Pregnancy, In Lists

A partial list of cravings so far:
  • tortellini with pesto
  • banana smoothies
  • green smoothies
  • dim sum-style turnip cakes
  • pad Thai
  • toast
  • more toast
  • seriously, an embarrassing amount of toast
  • kefir
  • samosas
  • peanut sauce
  • macaroni and cheese
  • pudding cups
  • soft white foods in general
Things that have been the grossest:
  • my beloved kombucha SCOBY, which I had to throw away and then barf a bunch afterwards
  • red meat
  • the inside of my own mouth
  • the stupid prenatal vitamin that I take like twice a week and always which always makes me feel disgusting
Nicknames for the baby:
  • the little buddy
  • the tiny dancer
  • little friend
  • kiddo
  • the disco monster
Cutest things:
  • have you ever seen a newborn onesie? Good lord 
  • what I'll fill my freezer with before the kid arrives
  • strollers—they truly are the car parents buy before they buy a minivan
  • sleek maternity clothes
  • how to position my body in time and space so that I'm comfortable
  • avoiding other people's unsolicited labour stories
  • toast
  • knitting tiny clothes
  • pinning gender-neutral clothes on Pinterest
  • baby-wearing resources
  • poking at my belly to see if that's the kid's head or its bum
  • offering people a chance to touch my stomach (I am a monster)
Physical challenges:
  • stiff hips
  • sore back
  • leaky boobs
  • my crotch is a swamp 24/7
  • this, like, numb/burning area at the top of my abdomen? The midwife says this is not unusual, but I think there's a demon in there
  • sometimes I go to pee and then an hour later I have to pee again, and then an hour after that I'm peeing again, and...

Physical amazingness:
  • feeling this kid move around inside
  • no acne?! 
  • seriously, my hair looks insanely good right now
  • constantly fondling my new outie bellybutton 
  • yoga is fun again
  • a bunch of different people have said that I'm "glowing"
Emotional challenges:
  • crying pretty much on the daily, for real
  • fear
  • anxiety 
  • developing an inexplicable fondness for Justin Bieber songs 
  • that every twinge is somehow a miscarriage, or, now, premature labour
Emotional amazingness:
  • when my husband reads stories to my belly and then we snuggle afterwards 
  • the incredible influx of people who want to give us baby-related stuff, including furniture, clothes, and soaker pads for the aforementioned leaky boobs
  • holding onto the parenting mantra my mother gave me, which was "Feed the baby. Hold the baby. Change the baby," which, like, I can totally do those things
  • feeling closer to my mom in general
  • finding some mom-friends (however: is there a more terrible phrase in the English language than "mom-friends"? I don't think so)
  • watching my body change in all these incredible ways, and not feeling super fucked-up about it (as Virginia Slim said: "You've come a long way, baby."
  • starting to maybe feel sort of like, if I can get my house cleaned up and take a shower sometime between now and January, I might be ready for this. 
Image via Rebeca Losada